En Route...

Vlad is on his way.
Has been for several hours.

I just checked his flight on http://www.flightstats.com/go/home.do and he'll soon be flying over the UK with another 3,900 miles to go to get to Detroit. At this point, his flight is delayed about 30 minutes.

I'm leaving here this morning at 8:30. Am I packed? Nope.

I briefly considered taking Joe with me to the airport, but in the end decided against it. I think in some ways it would have been easier to have him there, and it may have put Vlad a little more at ease. But Joe is not good at sitting or waiting. (Not many 7 year olds are.) And today is all about sitting and waiting. Driving 3 hours to the airport... waiting who knows how long for the kids to clear customs, etc.

He's excited to help Vlad transition into American life and is looking forward to having someone other than Kyle with whom to play.

When the boys get up, I'll get on  http://www.flightstats.com/go/home.do to track Vlad's flight so they can see exactly where his plane is at that moment. They'll think it's cool.  I did! :-)

I had a friend offer to take the boys for the morning yesterday so I could get my errands run.
Rick, my MIL and SIL are taking care of the boys while I'm in Detroit, and I think another SIL is feeding them supper tonight.
There are many prayers being offered up on our behalf-- by those who are known, and also unknown to me.

I'm so grateful for friends and family, and those unknown prayer warriors, who are willing to support us in their own ways.

Hopeful expectations...

I feel like I did when I was pregnant... especially towards the end. The closer I came to my due date, the less I was able to think about anything else.
I feel that way now.
NOT PREGNANT...
But the closer it comes to Vlad's arrival date, the less I'm able to NOT think about it.
     I had a dream about Vlad last night. I don't remember much about it, except he was an impish 10 year old (Vlad is 13), didn't have lice (Vlad most likely will), he was fluent in English (HA!), and he took to our "strange" American ways without batting an eye.  Any guesses as to what I'm most stressed about? :-)

Just like with a pregnancy, I've prepared for Vlad's arrival. For a baby... well, I don't think you're ever *really* prepared for a baby; but for a baby you have the clothes, and the diapers, a crib or bassinet,  a monitor, etc.
In getting ready for Vlad's arrival, I've had our "Welcome letter" and "House/Family Rules" translated. I have my labels about halfway finished. His room is ready, minus a few last minute items. I've called the newspaper, learned a little Russian, make his airport welcome sign, and attempted to make Blini http://www.traditional-russian-food.com/Blini.html. I have google translate bookmarked on both computers, found a bike, bought a few clothes... and countless other things- both large and small, that fall into the "getting ready for Vlad" category.

But as I lay awake at 4:30 this morning- laughing at the ridiculousness of my dream and thinking of what still has to be done, I had one of those "Duh" moments.
I've been so wrapped up in "doing", I haven't spent a whole lot of time in praying.
I mean, yes, I've prayed about Vlad and his coming, our role in his life, and what we can do for him physically and emotionally.  That it's an easy transition for him-- and us, how we can meet his needs, etc.

And meeting those physical, earthly needs is important... but I've been negligent in praying for the spiritual side of this equation.

I will never know what it's like to grow up as Vlad has. That his life has been far more difficult than mine is a vast understatement. And while he's here, we can feed him and love on him, have him as part of our family, and hopefully fill a void in his life.

But without Christ, Vlad can have no real hope.

One of the challenges put out by New Horizons was to spend time in prayer asking for a verse specifically for Vlad.
I did... sort of... for a little while... when I thought about it.

So while it was quiet this morning, before everyone else was up... even though there were flash cards to make and laundry to do (isn't there ALWAYS laundry to do??!!) I spent some real time in The Word and in prayer.

Psalm 34
¹ I will praise the Lord at all times.
      I will constantly speak his praises.
 ² I will boast only in the Lord;
      let all who are helpless take heart.
 ³ Come, let us tell of the Lord’s greatness;
      let us exalt his name together.

 ⁴ I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me.
      He freed me from all my fears.
 ⁵ Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy;
      no shadow of shame will darken their faces.
 ⁶ In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened;
      he saved me from all my troubles.
 ⁷ For the angel of the Lord is a guard;
      he surrounds and defends all who fear him.

 ⁸ Taste and see that the Lord is good.
      Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!
 ⁹ Fear the Lord, you his godly people,
      for those who fear him will have all they need.
 ¹⁰ Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry,
      but those who trust in the Lord will lack no good thing.

 ¹¹ Come, my children, and listen to me,
      and I will teach you to fear the Lord.
 ¹² Does anyone want to live a life
      that is long and prosperous?
 ¹³ Then keep your tongue from speaking evil
      and your lips from telling lies!
 ¹⁴ Turn away from evil and do good.
      Search for peace, and work to maintain it.

 ¹⁵ The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right;
      his ears are open to their cries for help.
 ¹⁶ But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil;
      he will erase their memory from the earth.
 ¹⁷ The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help.
      He rescues them from all their troubles.
 ¹⁸ The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
      he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

 ¹⁹ The righteous person faces many troubles,
      but the Lord comes to the rescue each time.
 ²⁰ For the Lord protects the bones of the righteous;
      not one of them is broken!

 ²¹ Calamity will surely overtake the wicked,
      and those who hate the righteous will be punished.
 ²² But the Lord will redeem those who serve him.
      No one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.

While he is here, I want Vlad to see the hope we have in Christ.

My prayer, is that he see Jesus, in me.

It's the final countdown... (insert synthesizer and big 80's hair here)

10 days. Thats all.
10 days.
Am I prepared? No.
Am I ready? Yes.

Vlad's flight arrives in Detriot at 1 pm. I don't know anything about customs or how long it might take, but I've been told to figure about 2 hours.
So here's the question. Do Vlad and I* drive straight home that afternoon/evening (3 1/2ish hour drive,) or do we get a hotel and drive home in the morning?
Assuming his plane arrives on time and allowing 2 hours for customs, and another hour or so in the airport for meeting and greeting, last minute paperwork, etc., we should get home by 8 or earlier... and than includes stopping for supper-- McDonald's probably. :-)   That does not, however, account for any Detroit traffic we may run into.

     8pm really isn't too bad all things considered. It's still light here at 8, J&K won't be in bed yet, and Vlad will probably have slept most of the way home. Plus, there's the money NOT spent on a hotel, etc.
     But getting home that "late" does have some disadvantages. If lice is a problem (and that's a distinct possibility) I'll want to deal with that ASAP... like before he goes to bed. I've no idea how long that takes. (And in truth, if it IS a problem, I'd rather do that at a hotel than my own home.) Once we do get home that night, there will be introductions, and he'll need an abbreviated tour of the house, and shown how the shower and toilet work, time to take a shower, change, and get settled as best he can.
J&K will be WIRED, but they'll be wired regardless of whether we come home that night, or the next morning.

Vlad will have been travelling for MANY hours. Is another 3-4 really that big of a deal? Would it be easier for him to meet me, then "chill" for the rest of the afternoon, get a good nights sleep and then meet the rest of the family the next day? Or is it better to just get it over with?

My inclination is to get a hotel. However, that means Rick- or SOMEBODY will have J&K for much of the day on Tuesday, and then most of the morning on Wednesday.

What does Rick think? I don't know. I haven't asked him yet. Suppose I ought to do that.

*Our most recent discussion left it with me driving to Detroit to get Vlad and Rick staying home with the boys... which of course, is always subject to change.

Lost in translation

So after much thought and several false starts, I got our Family/House rules down on paper. As previously stated, it was much more difficult than I had anticipated. They are by no means all encompassing, but they're a good start, I think.

Family/House Rules

-Brush teeth twice daily; once after breakfast and again at night before bed .

-Wash hands after using the toilet and before every meal.

-Shower AT LEAST every other day. Sometimes, depending on our activities and the weather, it will be every day.

-Fresh, clean clothes (including underwear) are to be worn every day. Place dirty clothes in the proper basket. Host Mom will wash them for you.

-When the bathroom door is closed, someone may be using the shower or the toilet. Please knock before entering.  

-Being part of a family means sharing, taking turns, and compromising. No one in this house gets their own way all the time.  

-Conflicts should not be resolved with hitting, biting, punching, slapping, pinching or kicking.  If there is a problem, we will talk, as best we can, and figure out what we can do about it.

-Only adults are allowed to use the computers, except when using them to help translate.

-No one in this house is perfect, not even the adults. Mistakes will be made and rules will be broken. If you are in the wrong, say “I’m sorry” and try to make it right.

-Most of the toys in this house belong to everyone. If you want to play with something that no one else is using, there is no need to ask. But if the toy is being used, please ask before taking it.

-TV/Video game time is allowed, but limited.

-Furniture is for sitting on, not jumping or climbing on.

-Everyone will pick up after themselves. If you get it out, put it away when you’re done with it.

-“Play shoes” are not to be worn in the house. Please take them off in the laundry room.

-We pray before all meals.

-We attend church as a family, every Sunday. 

I'm sure as the weeks go on, I'll wish I would have added a few more, but for now it will give Vlad a starting point. I felt a little weird about putting the hygiene items on there, but I'm told they're absolutely necessary. I would add that they are good reminders for my own kids, as Joe would love to reduce his teeth brushing quota to once a week whether he needed it or not. And changing underwear? Again, once a week is perfectly acceptable to my children. Although maybe I shouldn't complain as my laundry load is significantly lighter when I've forgotten to remind them to change their underwear.

I was lucky enough- by one of those friend of a friend connections- to find a local seminary student who is from Ukraine, willing to translate the house rules and a letter of welcome into Russian.
After a couple of emails back and forth, I learned the following:

-The phrase "play shoes" does not translate in Russian or Ukrainian. Evidently, they don't normally wear shoes in the house. So when kids go to play outside they wear shoes, and in the house they take them off, and sometimes wear slippers. However, they have "everyday" shoes (kids wear them whenever they go outside to play or do stuff), and "Sunday" shoes (these are the shoes they wear just to go to church, or on a special occasion).

-Laundry room and Laundry basket don't translate either. Alina, the student who translated for me said: 

"Re: laundry basket - I translated it, but in Ukraine we do not use a laundry basket, and, especially, in the orphanage I do not know how they deal with their laundry. In Ukraine people have one basket next to the washing machine in the house and people put dirty clothes there. In the orphanage I ministered in, the kids would usually put their clothes back into their closets, and a few days later they would check what clothes are dirty and wash them. So, just a note, when this boy comes, explain him (or just show) what you mean by a laundry basket.

Also, in Ukraine we usually do not have laundry rooms. The washing/dryer machines are somewhere in the house (usually in the "bathroom" room), but they are not in a separate room. Again, I translated "laundry room" into Russian, but he probably wont know what that is or he might have a different idea about it (usually if the orphanage has a "laundry room", it is usually in a different, separate from the living apartments, building)."

Not a big deal, but good to know. 

So now that that's over with, the next item on my "Getting ready for Vlad" agenda is to come up with some sort of English curriculum. Luckily, there are TONS of resources at the library and online (check out www.livemocha.com).  The problem is, I don't know how much English he already has under his belt.  What he does- or doesn't know, kind of determines where I start... so I'm not quite sure what to do about that.

He'll be here in 2 1/2 weeks. I don't know yet if he know's he's coming. 

And if he does know-- is he as nervous as I am?

R&R (Rules and Regulations)

One of the suggestions made at my host parent training was to make up a list of house rules and have it translated into Russian.  Surprisingly, this has been more difficult than I'd thought.
One of the problems is that our "house rules," in many cases, are things that are already understood... they're a given. Some are understood because we've taught the boys-- over and over. (We do not play Superman by jumping off the kitchen counters.) Some are understood because, well, it's just common sense. But oftentimes, common sense has to be taught; and what is common sense to us, may not be so obvious to Vlad. So to articulate some of these rules, takes some thought. There are also rules of self preservation (DO NOT track mud onto Mom's freshly mopped kitchen floor!)  But hopefully, we won't have to go into those!

Unfortunately, there are also some rules that must be stated (to my own children at least) that I'm guessing most parents don't even have to consider.
For example-
To my own children, I should not have to say "It's ok to pee outside when no one else is here, but please don't do it when we have company." Or, "Don't pee on the dog." Unfortunately, we've had this conversation more than once.
Hopefully, I won't have to address this issue with Vlad.

But how to explain about the air conditioning and keeping the doors and windows shut?

I'm curious. If you had to make a list of house rules for someone who didn't speak your language and who had never been a part of an American family... what would your list look like?

Get Involved!

Below is a copy of an e-mail I sent out to MANY friends and family on my contact list. In case you're following the blog, but I don't have your e-mail, I wanted to repost here as well.

Most of you know about the ministry we're participating in this summer with New Horizons. Vlad will be here on June 28th and will leave sometime in early August.  I'm e-mailing because there are chaperones who still need hosted. The chaperones are representatives from the different orphanages who travel with the kids here and back, and also and check in with them a couple of times a week during their stay.

Hosting a child can cost a decent chunk of change, but hosting a chaperone is FREE.  The chaperone hosting fees are ALREADY PAID by those who host a child.

The chaperones do not have to stay for the full 5 weeks. To keep them from moving around too much however, New Horizons does require a 2 week minimum stay.  Most speak English... and you may even talk a few into cooking you an authentic Latvian or Ukrainian meal.

Do you have a spare bedroom in your house where a chaperone could stay for a couple of weeks?  Let them experience the US in YOUR neck of the woods- be it Amish country, the Hill country, or just "the country".

If not you, do you know someone who could?

They're getting down to the wire and these chaperones need a place to stay.  Can you help?

To see which chaperones still need hosted, fill out this https://spreadsheets.google.com/viewform?formkey=dHVHcnYtWmdVWG9nazJIZFg3eFoxV1E6MA&ndplr=1 short form and an email will be sent to you with a password and a link to the hosting page.

Marty

http://www.newhorizonsforchildren.org/

Bon Voyage!

We have an official flight date/time! WOO HOO!
Vlad will be arriving in Detroit on Tuesday, June 28th, early afternoon.
He leaves Kiev at 6:30 that same morning (local time), but with the 7 hour time difference and a 2 hour layover in Amsterdam.... well.. I'm too tired to do the math at the moment. Let's just say it will be a long trip!