Playing catch-up...

It's been way too long since my last post... keep reading, you'll understand why.

Here's the Reader's Digest version:

Sunday 12/18: Toy Show- LONG DAY
Monday 12/19: Packing to leave for TX; Celebrate Christmas with just the 5 of us; Kyle starts running a fever in the pm.
Tuesday 12/20: Scheduled day of departure for TX- NOT happening, Kyle still running a fever, obviously not feeling well.  LATE Tues pm, Kyle's fever breaks. He sweat so much I thought he'd wet the bed.
Wednesday 12/21: Still no fever, we leave for TX; arrive in St Louis. Marty starts coughing.
Thursday 12/22: See The Arch and drive to Lebanon, MO to stay with some friends. Marty's cough getting worse.
Friday 12/23: Leave Lebanon, heading for TX. Marty still coughing, slept in the car most of the day. Marty starts feeling BAD in North Dallas and asks Rick to pull over off the interstate. Marty throws up in a parking lot and passes out (landing in the former contents of her stomach) and scraping up her face on the asphalt. Rick can't get Marty to wake up. Rick calls 911. Marty "comes to" shortly before the ambulance and fire truck arrive. Medics check vitals- blood sugar a little low but not dangerously so. Marty refuses transport, but decides to get checked out at the ER near her parent's house. On arrival in Scurry, Marty (still coughing) and Dad go to ER while everyone else eats supper. Everything checks out at the ER. Marty leaves with Rx for heavy duty cough syrup and Vicodin.
Saturday 12/24: Celebrate Christmas with Marty's extended family. Marty still coughing, starts running a fever in the pm, went to bed early.
Sunday 12/25: No church for Marty- still running a fever, still coughing and VERY tired. Spent most of the day sleeping. (Everyone else went bowling) Sunday pm, fever hit 104.4.
Monday 12/26: Marty's fever down to 102.6, still coughing; called Dr. on call here at home- he said to go to the ER. Dad took Marty back to ER. Flu test negative, diagnosis- bronchitis. Rx for "Z-pack" and a different cough suppressant. Marty back home to take a nap- slept the rest of the day. (Marty still running a fever, everyone else went to the movies.)
Tuesday 12/27: Marty starting to feel human again but still coughing, took Mareks shopping in the afternoon.
Wednesday 12/28: The 5 of us went shopping in Mesquite. Introduced Mareks to Whataburger (aka manna from heaven.) Packing to head back to Ohio the next day.
Thursday 12/29: Leave for home, no mishaps. Marty slept a lot in the car.
Friday 12/30: Arrive home, start unpacking.
Saturday: As of this moment, Mareks and Joe are still alseep and I've got laundry going. I think we'll start on the Christmas decorations this afternoon.

And now, for a few photos:

Meet Mareks :-)

Our "small family" Christmas

Mareks DOES NOT like having his picture taken, so
getting a pic when he's smiling is a rarity!

Putting "the boys" to work.

McDonald's- on the way to St. Louis.

In front of the Arch

In "the egg" waiting to go up to the top
of the Arch

Mareks, Kyle (being silly) and
Joe at the Arch.

At the top

Thursday night at the Chaffin's

I love this pose/expression. It's so "teenager."

Christmas with Marty's extended family.

Joe opening "what he's always wanted!" (It was a skateboard)

blue from his vitamin

playing with silly string

Joe going for a ride around the block
on Papa's "trike".

Kyle, pouting because he wanted to
go 1st.

Double thumbs up, Kyle gets his turn.

At Chick-fil-a on the way back to Ohio. I think Joe is
explaining how to get rid of an ice cream headache.

He caught me trying to take his picture.
Notice his "bling". He already had his
ear pierced when he got here. He used
some of his Christmas $ to buy some
outrageously large earrings.

I'll post photos of my facial lacerations another day. They're on my phone and I don't have the cord handy.

Getting comfortable

I don't know that I'm going to have time to post tomorrow, so this will be a short one....
Mareks helped me set up for the toy show tonight (The 23rd Annual Ashland FFA Alumni Farm Toy Show) which I'm sure is like NOTHING he's ever done or seen. LOL.

Tomorrow we'll hit church and then he'll help me in the snack bar at the toy show. It will be a LONG day, but we're doing our small family Christmas tomorrow night, and I think he's looking forward to it.

I finished up my Christmas shopping today and left the bags in the car. In the busy-ness of the afternoon, I forgot about them. When I remembered, I remarked that I still needed to get the Christmas presents out of the back of the car.
Mareks cheekily offered to get them for me.
HA!
Then, after supper when I mentioned I needed to wrap the rest of the presents tonight, he of course, offered to help.
Help--- yeah right!
Then, ON PURPOSE, he stayed up an extra 30 minutes later than he usually does to see if he could catch me in the act.
His sense of humor is really coming out... and I LOVE it!

I had a neat moment with Mareks tonight...
He and I were on youtube. He was showing me the music he likes to listen to as well as dance styles that are popular in Latvia. I went to put the boys to bed and when I came back downstairs, he'd pulled up google images and wanted to show me pictures of Latvia.... a huge new library they're building, famous landmarks, the president's house, etc. There's even a bridge in Latvia that we're calling "my bridge" because it reminds me of my favorite bridge in Toledo. What I REALLY liked, was that he initiated it. I didn't have to ask, he WANTED to show me. It wasn't "personal" per se... like talking about his family; but he was still sharing about himself... about his culture... about where he lives.
It was a perfect way to end our 1st week.

1st week??? ALREADY!!?? ARRGH!! You mean I only have 3 weeks left with him??

Revelations...

This being our second time hosting, I've talked to quite a few people who want to know "is it different this time?"

Absolutely, unequivocally, 100% YES!

First, Vladik is from Ukraine and Mareks is from Latvia. That in itself will mean there are SOME differences.

I think the biggest difference is that the language barrier (for the most part) is gone.
Vladik spoke, for all intents and purposes, no English. Mareks, on the other hand,  has been learning it since he was a young boy. What this means is that: 1. I'm not tied at the hip to google translate. 2. He can interact more fully with us and our boys because he understands whats going on.
     I didn't have to explain much about the dentist or the eye exam. What I DID want to clarify, I was able to do so in the car, on the way there.
     We went to the kids' school's Christmas program last night, and I was able to explain things in detail, or point out different people. He was able to laugh at the things that were funny-- because the understood what was going on.
     More so than with Vladik, I know a little more about his daily life. I hope the longer he's here, the more I can discover; but because he can respond with complete sentences (without having to use the computer) I'm learning more about him. Now, I will say that is seems like I'm the one asking all the questions, but I'm making a point of keeping them very neutral. Questions about school, what he does in his free time, teasing him about girls, etc.

Mareks is having a harder time adjusting to the time difference than what Vladik did. Not that that's good or bad either way... it's just different.

Mareks plays with Joe and Kyle differently that what Vladik did. Again, not good or bad... just different. With Vladik, there was always a little competitive edge with Joe. Much of that, I'm sure, is that they were closer in age (6 years difference with Vladik, 9 with Mareks), and even closer that that if you figure "emotional age."  Vladik interacted with the boys as a peer- as a contenporary. Mareks is more like the "really cool uncle." He still plays with the Joe and Kyle- being goofy and having fun, but there's no element of competition. He's a lot less physical with them that what Vladik was.

He eats a lot LESS than Vladik- and that surprised me. Mareks is every bit of 6'... slender, but not malnourished or underweight. Although he did eat 3 BLTs (minus the "L") for lunch yesterday, so maybe his appetite will continue to increase.

Mareks is a lot more brand conscious that Vladik was. Vladik didn't care what he wore, or what label was on the shirt. Mareks is MUCH more aware and desirous of "name brand" items. And we have to be careful with that. Not only are the name brands more expensive, but in some cases having them can make him a target when he gets back home.
Additionally, Mareks seems more... mature? aware? self-posessed? experienced? worldly? I can't put my finger on the right word. But it's like the difference between a "big city" kid and a "country" kid.... urban vs. rural. Mareks is the big city kid, Vladik the kid from the country. Again- one isn't any better than the other-- it's just different.

We ate at Wendys' last night before the Christmas program. During the course of the meal, I asked Mareks if he wanted more to drink. When he said "no," I let him know that refills were free. He looked at me with the disbelief clear on his face. (I'm told there's no such thing as free refills in Eastern Europe.) I assured him that not only were refills free at Wendy's... but at every restaurant in the US that I could think of. He was dumbfounded. Still a bit skeptical, he went and refilled his Coke. Then, when he ran out of ketchup, I told him he could get more if he wanted. When he said "no," I let him know that we didn't have to pay for condiments; that if he wanted more ketchup, he could get more. Again, the disbelief was clear on his face. "Come on... really?!" He said. (I'm told there's no such thing as "free" ketchup in Eastern Europe.)
THEN, because I was having so much fun shocking him... I told him about buffets like Cici's Pizza and Golden Corral.

I don't think he believed me. :-)

Doctors...

Things are going really well.
Mareks has a wonderful sense of humor, and although he's not cracking jokes yet he gets along quite well with good natured teasing.
He's still adjusting to the time difference, which is fine... and probably good for his sanity. Joe and Kyle are "up and at 'em" by 6:30 (if not earlier.) The first words out of their mouths? Not "Good morning, Mom," or "What are we having for breakfast?" It's "Is Mareks up yet?" Poor kid has groupies.

He slept about 14 hours yesterday, and we're going on 13 this morning... but maybe it's not so much jet lag as it is normal sleeping patterns for a 16 year old boy? Regardless, I was going to let him sleep as late as he wanted this morning, but Kyle has a Dr. appt at 9:30.

Dr. yes. Poor Mareks, it's been 3 days of doctors.
Monday was the dentist. (3 cavities down, 6 to go) We'll go back on Friday for the rest of the cavities and then once again probably early next week for the cleaning and to fix a chipped/broken tooth.
Yesterday was the eye Dr. (no glasses needed)
And today I'll have to wake him up for Kyle's appointment. Kyle has a weird rash on his face. It's not 5ths. Joe had fifths and thats not what this is. To be honest, it looks a bit like the online pics of Rubella, but Kyle doesn't have many of the other symptoms- AND he's had both vaccinations. Nor do I want to self-diagnose. So, in case he's contagious Kyle won't be going to school today.

Joe won't be going to school today either. He didn't go yesterday, and we had to pick him up before lunch on Monday. Fever, cough, dizziness, crud. The fever is gone, but he was up coughing so much last night  (and the night before) neither of us got any sleep. I told him he could stay home, but that he wasn't going to watch TV all day and if he DID stay home, he had to take a nap this afternoon. He agreed to both... so I KNOW he's not feeling well.

I'll write more about this in the next couple of days, but it's been interesting to me how DIFFERENT Vladik and Mareks are. Not that I expected them to be the same- I mean after all, they're from different countries, Mareks is 3 years older, Vladik didn't speak English, etc.
But the differences are STRIKING.
They're on complete opposite ends of the spectrum in so many ways.
Not that either way is wrong or bad... it's just different, and I hadn't consciously anticipated that.

Most of the Ukrainian kids arrived last night. It pleases me a great deal that Vladik is back in the US for Christmas and with a family who will love on him. I hope they enjoy him as much as we did.

Sleeping....

Well, it was quite a night :-)

All the Latvian kids, plus one chaperone arrived safe and sound... and early at Akron/Canton Airport last night. And before I go any further, can I just say- here and now- that I LOVE that airport!
SO easy to get in and out of, and easy (and CHEAP) to park.

But let me start at the beginning.

Their flight was due to arrive at 10:15pm. I needed to be there by 9.
I left the house a little after 7 as I was going to stop at Target and do a little Christmas shopping on my way.
So I loaded up the car, and headed out.
15 minutes later, (just north of West Salem for my local readers), OH CRAP!!!  I forgot to grab the "Welcome"sign. It was still sitting at home by the refrigerator.  So I turned around and went home to get the sign.

No big deal... I still have PLENTY of time.

On the road again, headed to Akron. :-)

I discovered, much to my annoyance, that my Garmin needs a map update; because the "Target" it took me to in Akron was actually a Church's Chicken. Yeah, not gonna find what I was looking for there.

So again... I turned around and headed back towards the airport. On the way I found, WITHOUT the help of the Garmin I might add, the Target I was looking for in the first place.

~~I should mention here that before leaving the house, I checked the Target website to see which stores had the item I was looking for in stock. I went to this particular store because it WAS in stock.

Yeah.... no.
None on the shelves, none in the back.  <sigh>

So I continued on to the airport, made it there by 9 and I met up with the other host families. It was neat to see their excitement and their love for these kids!

The kids' flight landed a little early, and since they'd already been through customs at JFK we didn't have long to wait.

Group shot of host families, host kids and chaperone. Mareks  is on the far right.

After pictures, greetings, medication instructions, a little paperwork, and more pictures, we were all off with a bunch of tired and wired kids by 10:30ish. We only had an hour drive as opposed to the 3 I had this summer, so it seemed like a quick trip.

Mareks and I talked a little on the way home. I wanted to let him sleep- and he was definitely tired... but I think he was a little too keyed up.
I can't even begin to tell you how WONDERFUL it is that he speaks English (and speaks it pretty well). That was probably the hardest thing with hosting Vladik this summer. Not that I couldn't get my point across, but because so often our conversations were one-sided. He spoke/read a mix of Russian/Ukrainian, and google translate usually didn't like it. So more often that not, what he tried to tell me- wouldn't translate.

I'm excited to be able to talk to Mareks without having to use the laptop, but even more excited that he can talk back.

Rick, bless his heart, took the boys to school this morning; and Mareks is still asleep. I'll let him sleep another hour and then get him up, showered etc. so we can pick up Kyle at school by 11.

Tomorrow....

Tomorrow, Mareks and dozens of other orphans from Latvia will board planes (most for the 1st time) and head to various destinations in the US.
Tomorrow, chaperones, airline ambassadors and a host of other people will help these precious kids settle their nerves, and calm their fears to arrive safely and with as little drama as possible. :-)
Tomorrow, while I'm still asleep, many of these travelers will receive their letters of introduction written by their host families. This will be their first clue as to what kind of family they'll be staying with.
Tomorrow, host families all over the country (myself included) will rush around checking off the final items on their "to do list" in anticipation of the most memorable Christmas of their lives.
Tomorrow, some families will be reunited with their previous host kids... kids they are in the process of adopting... kids they haven't seen since summer... future "legal" members of their family... already the children of their heart.
Tomorrow, much past my bedtime, Mareks and a dozen other orphans will, after a couple of other stops, land at the Akron/Canton Airport. Many will have been up for close to 24 hours.
Tomorrow, there will be tears of joy... smiles... hugs..... and nerves.

Tomorrow, marks another opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus.
To show love... compassion... patience...
To be a family...
To let the joy of life in Christ be evident, obvious, infections... and something Mareks wants to know more about.

Help Needed!

Ok. So I know many of my readers are local... and I need your help.

There are 12 Latvian orphans arriving at Akron/Canton on December 11th. Along with them will be a Latvian chaperone. Her name is Sandra and she's in her early 50's. I'm still waiting to find out if she speaks English.

We, the other host families and us, are looking for places for her to stay. Before you immediately say "no"... here's a little more info for you...

1. She does not have to stay with one family for the entire 4 weeks. If you can open your home for just one week, that would be AWESOME!

2. There is no fee to host a chaperone. They get a small weekly(?) stipend while they're here. I will note however, that there is some financial involvement as you'll be feeding them, letting them do their laundry, etc.. Also, if your family goes out to eat or to see a movie or something, it would be appropriate for you to pay for the chaperone as well.

3. You will not be completely responsible for her entertainment during her sojourn with you. As host families,  as long as we're within a reasonable driving distance we're to spend time with her as well.

4. I know you're thinking "What would I do with her??!!"  I'm SO GLAD YOU ASKED! :-)
Go look at Christmas lights,  see The Nutcracker, attend your church's Christmas Cantata, share in your family Christmas traditions, learn to cook a traditional Latvian meal, go to a museum, plan family movie night, take her Christmas shopping with you, have a family game night, string popcorn for your tree, take her to a MOPS meeting, attend a Christmas Eve service at church, go caroling... maybe she can teach YOU something!

5. If not you, do you know of someone who might be interested? Someone at church perhaps, or a neighbor, an in-law or a friend?  Help me spread the word.  Give them the link to my blog, or send them directly to the New Horizons website www.newhorizonsforchildren.org.

If you (or someone you know) is interested, please fill out this pre-application:
pre-application
and you'll be contacted by someone with New Horizons.

Thanks for praying about and considering this. You could be a HUGE blessing to someone far away from home and family.

PS... I still don't know if the chaperone speaks any English, but here's a little more about her (as copied from the NHFC website):


Sandra has been an orphanage director for 15 years. She has a Master's degree in Pedagogy which is like a Master's in Education in the USA. She is married with 3 grown sons: ages 20, 22 and 24. She likes to read books, knit, and participate in Latvian National Dance and travel whenever possible. She is not afraid of new situations and can't wait to go to the USA with kids! This is a welcome chance for her! In the USA she would like to see nature and wants to discover what she has heard about US citizens who openly offer friendship and hospitality!

Thanksgiving

Thankgiving is a time for many things... good food, good friends, good family, good fellowship... great memories, and a time to really think about and be grateful for all the many blessings we have.

I know that our version of Thanksgiving is rooted in our national history, but I wonder if other countries have their own version of the holiday?  If Mareks (or Vladik) were celebrating Thanksgiving in their orphanages today, I wonder if they would have anything for which to be thankful?

Good food.....?
Good friends...?
Good family....?
Good fellowship....?
Great memories.....?
An overabundance of blessings.....?

We have so much more than we know... so much more than we understand.

This Thanksgiving, as you overindulge in food and football, please take a moment to think about and pray for the 150+ orphans who will be coming to the US for Christmas. The Latvian kids come in just a couple of weeks with the ones from Ukraine arriving a few days later.  This is an opportunity of a lifetime for them-- and for the host families. For some kids, this is their last chance to find a forever family as they will soon "age out".  For others, they're already past the age they can be adopted. Many are coming to America for the first time. For most, this is the farthest they've ever been from home. Separated from their friends, familiar surroundings, unable to communicate easily; plopped down in a culture and society they don't know or understand.

Pray for the host families- both 1st timers and veterans. Pray for patience, understanding, and love.

Pray for the eyes of others to be opened. Pray for hearts to be burdened and lives to be changed.

A new adventure...

It's been 3 months to the day since my last post and I wasn't expecting to pick this blog back up until next summer.
We really weren't planning on rehosting until summer.

Like most other families, we have a busy, busy Christmas season. Lots going on. Commitments to honor, schedules to keep, places to go, people to see.
We didn't really want an added responsibility... something else on our plate.
Or so we thought.

I'd been monitoring the photo listing of the kids available for hosting since it was released. I'd picked my "favorites" and kept checking to see if they'd been chosen.  We really weren't planning on hosting over Christmas... HONEST. I was just watching and praying for the ones I was keeping my eye on.

No, we weren't planning on rehosting quite this soon, but the Lord knew better.
And once we felt the nudge, well, we could think of a million good reasons to host, and not one good reason to not host.

So, we are expecting 16 year old Mareks in early December.
Mareks is from Latvia, speaks some English, (YAY!).... and that's about all we know at this point.

There's a bigger age difference between Mareks and Joe and Kyle than what we had with Vladik, and to be honest, I'm not sure how that will all work out.
The fact that he speaks some English is HUGE!  I can't even tell you how much easier it's going to make things. Also, for whatever reason (maybe his age?), Mareks is not available for adoption. So that decision has been taken completely out of our hands.

I'm excited for this new experience.
As with Vladik, my prayer is that Mareks see the love of family and feel the love of Christ while he's here.

Speaking of Vladik, at this point, he's not been hosted yet. The deadline for Ukrainian children is fast approaching and he is one of a few with sizeable scholarships.  Please join me in praying for a host family for him.

I'm sure you're wondering why we didn't just rehost Vladik?
There are many reasons, but the two big ones are:
First, Vladik is not the one to which we were led.
Second, I didn't want to remove him from the "available" list and take away his chance of finding his forever family.

I don't know that I'll be as faithful with my blogging as I was during Vladik's stay, but I'll do my best.
Please pray for us as we prepare our home and our hearts for Mareks' arrival. Pray that this will be a fantastic experience for him and that above all else, he see Jesus in me.

Final Thoughts...

Vladik has been gone for a week.
In that time, I've gotten a lot of questions about our hosting experience.

Surprisingly, some questions have come from strangers...
Like the WalMart cashier who checked us out while Vladik was here....
Or the girl at Subway who recognized us from the newspaper article...
And the lady who was getting a mani/pedi while I was getting my haircut...

Some have come from friends at church... from MOPS... from family.

So I thought I would address these questions as best as I can, as I'm sure they're not the only ones wondering. But first, I want to direct you to a couple of links...

I posted some time ago about the "Carboard Testimonies" that New Horizons was putting together. I don't know if this is the final cut, but I wanted you to be able to see it...
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=2203054753019&comments

Also, if you're interested in seeing more of the pics I took while Vladik was here, the following is a link to an album I put together to send to him.
http://share.shutterfly.com/share/received/welcome.sfly?fid=bcf174cf3de8aac3&sid=0AZuWrlo4aMmTj4

Ok.. on to the questions.

1. Are you going to adopt Vladik?
No. Rick and I entered this hosting program not expecting or anticipating adoption. That's not to say that we won't at some point in the future... just not at this time. I will also say that had we had that "connection" with Vladik... the feeling that our family is not complete without him, I might be answering differently.
Let me also clarify that New Horizons is NOT an adoption agency. They run HOSTING programs.
Do they hope and pray that the host kids find their forever families while they're here? Of course they do! But they are NOT an adoption agency.

2. How much did it cost?
In truth, I don't know. Hosting fees are $2500, but that does not include what we spent on him while he was here. I will also say that Vladik had a scholarship-- so we didn't have to pay the full amount. New Horizons is a 501c3 organization, so contributions can be made to them just like you would give to your church, or any other charitable organization. Someone (or someones) had designated their contributions go to Vladik to reduce his hosting fees. The availability of scholarships can be the deciding factor on whether or not a family can afford to host a child. I know it made a difference for us.

3. Does/Did he speak English?
Yes and no.
What he knew when he arrived was self taught.
We worked on his English quite a bit while he was here. They say that immersion is the fastest way to learn a new language, so I know he picked up a lot. He understood more that he spoke and only spoke in English when necessary.  I sent him home with the flashcards and workbooks that we'd been using. I hope he continues to work on it.

4. How did he get picked to come?
First off, the children volunteer to be a part of the hosting program.
Those that want to come to The US (and not all of them do), must then be interviewed by a team from New Horizons. The interview team decides who gets to come and who doesn't. But just because the kids are given the "ok", doesn't mean it's all set. A family then has to step up and choose a child to host. And not all children are chosen. I know Vladik had at least one friend who went through the interview, etc., but was never chosen by a host family.

5. How long was he here?
Vladik was here for 5 weeks. Summer hosting is about 5 weeks, winter hosting is about 4.

6. Will you host Vladik again?
We are not hosting this winter. I'd like to host again next summer, but Rick and I haven't talked about it yet. But to answer the question...
My understanding is, the only way we can re-host the same child is if we were pursuing adoption.... OR if it was getting toward the "choosing deadline" and he'd not been picked by another family. Those specific "re-host rules" are put in place by the Ukra*nian and Latv*an governments. (I think).

7.  How did you hear about New Horizons?
I was wasting time on facebook and saw an ad. I clicked... and the rest can be read about here in my blog.

8. What's next for Vladik? Will you ever hear from him again or know if he gets adopted?
Unfortunately, because of his age Vladik is not a good candidate for adoption. It has nothing to do with his personality, temperament, abilities, IQ, general demeanor, or his work ethic. The truth is, he's 13--almost 14. And people don't adopt teenagers.   Now, while that's not ENTIRELY true, it's not too much of an exaggeration.  I doubt very much I'll ever hear directly from Vladik. The language barrier being what it is, it's not like he can sit down and write me a letter. I hope to see pictures when the interview team from New Horizons goes to Ukra*ne later this month; and if he's hosted by another family this winter, maybe I can see photos then. I'll be sending a package for him with the interview team, and possibly one for his birthday. Beyond that, I don't know.

9. How did your boys adjust?
Pretty well. They were all gracious and understanding the first week or two, but it was obvious when the newness wore off. After that, Vladik was just another member of the family as far as Joe and Kyle were concerned. They both liked having someone (besides each other) to play with; and because Vladik tended to play rougher than what they were used to, they (especially Joe) learned some valuable lessons about what it's like to be the "little" kid.

10. What did you learn?
A lot!
I could go on and on about all the things I learned-- about parenting... about boys... about patience... teaching... understanding... compassion.. and more.
But mostly, I learned about love.
I think a lot of times, we think of love as the world does.
That it's something you feel. It's emotional. It's butterflies in your stomach and sweaty palms.

But I learned over the last 5 weeks, that love is a VERB.
Love is not so much what we say... although I think that's important too.
But love is ACTION. Love is what we DO.

1 John 3:18 sums it up:
Our love must not be a thing of words and fine talk. It must be a thing of action and sincerity.

My time with Vladik taught me love with deliberation....

To love on purpose.... whether I "feel" like it or not.

So.
How's YOUR love life?

On his way home

Well, it's done. I'm home, and Vladik is in the air. (Last I checked he was flying over Nova Scotia.)

We made it to the airport... after RIDICULOUS traffic/construction on the turnpike, and Vladik is headed home.

But I should start at the beginning.... like with yesterday.

Sunday- our last full day with Vladik.... at his request we went bowling and had ice cream for supper.

He insisted he'd been bowling before, and that he DID NOT want the bumpers up like Joe and Kyle.

Well, if he'd been bowling before... maybe it was a different kind of bowling-- Ukrainian style. Maybe it's like checkers and UNO... the rules are different.

Lets just way it was a good thing there weren't people in the lanes to either side of us as Vladik's ball often landed NOT in our lane. :-)

For supper we went to Cold Stone. He was quite taken with the peanut butter ice cream, but nearly broke a tooth on the Snickers bar they put in it.

When we got home the boys immediately went out to ride their bikes. It was hot... still... but this was their last real chance to ride down the barn bank, race, chase each other etc.... together. They were having so much fun, I  didn't want to bring Joe and Kyle in at bedtime. Watching them was bittersweet.

After Vladik's arrival, it didn't take me long to figure out that he always did better if he knew what was going to happen the next day. So we'd gotten in the habit, before he want to bed, of going over the next day's schedule.  Not that is was set in stone or anything, but I think if gave him a sense of security... knowing what was planned.

I reminded him--- like he NEEDED reminding--- that he was flying home the next day.
I told him that his flight left at 4pm, and that we needed to be at the airport by 1(ish).. which meant we needed to leave our house around 10am.
Vladik got very agitated... not upset, but he was desperately... earnestly trying tell me something.

"Here it comes", I thought... this is where he tells me he doesn't want to go back to Ukraine and that he wants us to adopt him.  In truth, I'd been kind of waiting for it and so I thought I was prepared.

NOPE.

As in no, he didn't mention adoption or not going back.
He said he needed to take 2 soccer balls back with him. Mind you, this is at 10pm... and his bags are nearly packed (and already full to overflowing.)
Confused, and a little surprised, I asked him where he was going to put them?  He said he would "download" (deflate) them and stick them in his backpack. Of course there wasn't room, and I WASN'T going to WalMart to buy 2 soccer balls- so I told him no.
So he begged.
"No. I'm sorry Vladik, but there just isn't space, even if you deflated the balls."
So he started pouting... and then crying.

He was so emotional, he stormed off- up to bed and almost didn't let me tuck him in.
Of course, I did anyway--- telling him it was ok to be sad... it was ok to cry.
He was still crying when I turned out the light.... and so was I.
I'm sure he was a little angry with me telling him "no", but I think most of it was the fact that he was leaving. He never said he wanted to stay... he never said he didn't want to go back... he didn't have to.

Then there were my dreams last night. I had a LOUSY nights sleep.
I kept dreaming that Vladik had snuck out in the middle of the night to keep from going back to Ukraine. In one dream, we finally found him hiding in the barn-- long after his flight had left and after calling the sheriff to start a search party. In another he'd hitch hiked to Disney World. (Weird, I know.. but you know how dreams are.) But I woke up from each one panicked and in a cold sweat.

This morning he was very reserved, and a little sick to his stomach I think-- he didn't eat much breakfast. As we finished stuffing the last of the clothes in his suitcase and getting last minute items, he asked/begged about the soccer ball again... only this time he asked for just one. Still, the answer was no.

When it was time to go, I dropped Joe and Kyle off at my MIL's.
As the three boys said their goodbyes, they all exhibited typical boy behavior.
A hug (which was more like a tackle).... a "goodbye"... and then a little wrestling and other miscellaneous physical shenanigans.

It was cute. And heartbreaking.

Joe let Vladik play his DS on the way to the airport.  I warned Vladik ahead of time that he might get car sick if he played it while we were driving. He shrugged. Typical kid... What does Mom know?!

Well, about 20 minutes into the drive... he got car sick.
Luckily he gave me fair warning and I was able to pull over to the side of the road before he puked all over the inside of the car. Thank you, LORD! THAT would have been a miserable ride there and back. Y U C K!

Not long after we hit the turnpike there was traffic... and construction... and traffic... and three lanes merging into one... and traffic. ARRRGH! It was stop and go for 5 miles and 45 minutes. GREAT! Now we were behind schedule!
Then when we hit Toledo, man did it rain! I mean a DOWNPOUR!! Lots of lightning, heavy, heavy rain... I nearly had to pull over because I couldn't see. Luckily the storm was short lived and we were only about 30 minutes late to our rendezvous with the rest of the host families.

Vladik was glad to see the other kids, but I think he had mixed feelings about leaving. I KNOW he's excited to see his friends again, but I also know that he didn't want to leave. Conflicting emotions that I'm sure were hard to reconcile.

Waiting in the security checkpoint line.

We got all the kids' bags checked, we said our good byes, and the kids and their chaperone, got in line for security.
And THAT'S when I lost it. Not all crazy emotional, uncontrollable sobbing... just tears.
Vladik wasn't the only one with conflicting emotions.

To be completely honest-- I was ready for him to leave.
There I said it.
I was ready for him to leave-- and I felt guilty about that.
Not guilty because we weren't adopting... but guilty because I KNOW what I was sending him back to.

It's not that we didn't enjoy having him here... because we did! It was a wonderful... albeit challenging experience for all of us. It stretched me in ways I'm sure I'm not completely aware of. It opened my eyes to a lot of things... issues.. problems...a different culture...a different society.
And now that I *know* about those issues, I'm not entirely sure what I'm supposed to do with that knowledge.

But yes, I was ready for Vladik to leave. (And saying it twice doesn't make me feel any less heartless.)

I'm ready for it to just be the four of us again.
I'm ready to not be glued to google translate. Type... translate... back translate... revise... translate... back translate, etc.
I'm ready to have my evening time with Rick back.
I'm ready to be able to leave the house by 8am to get errands run.
I'm ready to eat PIZZA again! (which Vladik didn't like)
I'm ready to really focus on my kids for the last 3 weeks of their summer vacation.
I'm ready to celebrate our 10 year anniversary... which was July 28th, but because we didn't get anyone else background checked, we couldn't leave Vladik with another family member.
I'm ready to sleep until 6:30 (long story)

I ache for the families who are pursuing adoption.
New Horizons policy is that you're not allowed to talk about the "A" word AT ALL with your host kids... even if you're planning on adopting. There are too many things that could derail a potential adoption.... and so many things that need to go just right.
Can you imagine how completely crushed a child would be if they knew ahead of time that their host parents wanted to adopt them.... but then for some reason, they couldn't... that those parents never came for them?!
At this point, I don't even know if those families know if their host child is even available for adoption.
I can't even imagine those good byes.

All the Ukrainian kids left today.
The Latvian kids leave Thursday.

Please pray for those who are travelling today....and for those who will be travelling later this week.

Even if one is ready for things to get back to "normal"... it's still not an easy good bye.

We packed Vladik's suitcase last night.
Even *I* was impressed with how much stuff I crammed in there!  I have one more load of laundry to do tonight- mostly the stuff he wore over the weekend, but I'm not entirely sure where I'm going to put it. I got the suitcase in under the maximum weight of 50#.. but in order to do so, Vladik's backpack is SO FULL! I would guess that together, the suitcase and backpack weigh nearly as much as he does. (But from the facebook postings of other host parents... I'm not the only one!)

Joe asked a couple of days ago if he could come with me to take Vladik to the airport.
I told him yes, but that he needed to understand that it wasn't going to be a quick trip... that we would be gone much of the day. And then his ulterior motives surfaced...
"Mom, if I come with you, can I play my DS?"
"Well, sure, some."
"Can I play it ALL DAY?"
As soon as I said "no" to that, he wasn't interested in coming with me anymore.

Thus far, Vladik has been very stoic about preparing to leave. No emotions, no tears, no.. nothing.
I wish I knew what he was thinking and feeling.... though I can guess.

On the other hand, it may be easier for me that I don't know.  If he knew more English, he'd be able to tell me EXACTLY what he's feeling.
Would that make it harder to say goodbye?
Probably.
Maybe it's better not knowing.

At Vladik's request, we're going bowling tonight and having ice cream for supper.
I think we'll take him to Cold Stone.

I've attached 3 links.
The first is for New Horizons, the organization through which we hosted Vladik.
http://www.newhorizonsforchildren.org/

The 2nd is a video about human trafficking in Russia- which is an eastern neighbor to Ukraine. 

This happens all over the world, not just Eastern Europe. 

But the girls "graduating" from orphanages (somewhere around age 16) are more at risk... in particular, girls from Ukrainian orphanages.

http://vimeo.com/21728731

The 3rd link is about street kids in Ukraine. I'll warn you ahead of time, that there is some bad language in it- but it's subtitled.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/video/2011/apr/05/ukraine-lost-children-video

I hope these videos effect you as they did me.

Our final Thursday and Friday...

It's been pretty low-key around here the last 2 days.
Vladik has had a few bouts of moodiness--- which considering he flies home on Monday... it's to be expected.

There have been a lot of neat moments during his time here.
But I think my favorite occurred last night.
Rick was changing the oil in his truck and rotating the tires... and he had Vladik help.

The two of them were a little slow to warm up to each other... in part because Rick was so busy in the fields for the first 3 weeks of Vladik's stay; but it was really neat to see this bit of bonding between them.
I don't know if Vladik will ever need the skills/words Rick was teaching him... lug nuts, in which direction to rotate the tires, how to measure the tread depth, using the star pattern, etc. But whether or not he uses or remembers it, isn't really the point.
It was a moment. 30 minutes of "guy time" doing "guy things."

It was neat to see.

What is it with men and power tools, anyway? Is it testosterone driven?

I have pretty much everything we need to send home with Vladik- short of a winter coat. I called Goodwill this afternoon to see if they had their winter stuff out yet, and they DO have some. So we'll be making a quick trip to town tomorrow to see if we can find anything useful.

I've had some wonderful friends donate items for Vladik's return trip: a suitcase, a backpack, activity books, etc.  I am so thankful for their support and willingness to help!

After we get back from Goodwill (with or without a coat), we'll start packing. It may seem a little premature, but I need to see what kind of room he's going to have to figure out what he can or can't take home with him. There's a weight limit to consider as well, so I'll have to nix most of the books, etc., I had originally thought about sending home.

We have just the weekend left- and that's it.

We have to be in Detroit at 1pm on Monday.

The time has gone unbelievably fast- and even though we're not adopting, I hope we've given Vladik a glimpse of how things *could* be... the idea of something different than what he's known. Certainly not the family dynamics seen on TV... we're neither the Cleavers, the Simpsons nor the Bundys; but I hope he's felt loved...
I hope he's felt wanted...
I hope he's felt safe...
I hope he's felt included...
and whether or not he understands it, I hope he's seen the difference Christ can make in the life of an individual, and in the life of a family.

Yesterday... Our final Wedensday

We had a GREAT day yesterday... although truth be told, it didn't start out that way!

Rick took the day off-- which is always a treat... and we drove up to Port Clinton and Lake Erie. But I'm getting ahead my self.

Our plan was to leave the house by 8:30 or 9am.
For those of you who have kids who don't get up at the crack of dawn, I realize that to be out of the house by 8:30 in the morning- especially during the summer- seems ridiculously early. But my kids are usually up by 6:30... Joe sometimes earlier.. so 8:30 is not an unreasonable departure time.

Well, Vladik picked yesterday to sleep in even later than his usual 8:00.
When he STILL wasn't up by 9:30, I went and woke him up.
Normally I would have let him sleep; but I'd been hearing... every 3 minutes... since the rest of us ate breakfast that morning... "is it time to go yet?"... "when are we leaving?"

So we finally left by about 10.

We got 15 miles up the road, and the tire pressure monitor in the car started going off. ARRRGH!
So Rick got out and looked at the tires-- nothing was OBVIOUSLY wrong, but you never know.
So, we turned around and drove home. Turns out 3 of the 4 tires were 15# low. So... an hour after starting out the 1st time, we were on our way again.

We ate lunch at McDonalds... which according to Vladik and my kids... is ALWAYS appropriate, and we headed over to the African Safari Wildlife Park in Port Clinton.

I got a great deal on tickets through Groupon, so rather than paying $84 to get us all in, it was $25 for the 5 of us.  The entry fee included a little pony ride and a camel ride for each kid, plus a large cup of food for the animals.

Driving through the park and feeding the animals as they stuck their heads in the car is quite possibly Vladik's favorite moment from his whole time here with us. He was SO animated!

He, Joe and Kyle laughed so hard, I really thought they were going to make themselves sick! I tried to get pictures of Vladik feeding the animals, but the angle
was too awkward.

He was all grins on the pony camel rides as well. He liked the idea that he was maybe the only host kid from Ukraine who got to ride a camel on his trip to America.

Say "hello" to my little friend  :-)

After our adventure at the African Safari, we went in search of a public beach. We found one just up the road and the boys spent a couple of hours swimming and splashing in the water. 

I'm embarrassed to say that after living in Ohio for 12 years, it was my first actual trip to a Lake Erie beach. I wasn't quite as impressed as the kids were, but I supposed that has to do with the fact that many of my "growing-up years" were spent in Southern California where we frequented the "real" beach.
Regardless, they had a great time... despite the dead fish and the water snakes.

We cleaned up and headed over to Sandusky for supper, but on the way we stopped at Marblehead to see the lighthouse.  It was starting to get cloudy and the waves were starting to pick up... the boys enjoyed sitting on the rocks watching people fish.

Joe and Vladik both feel asleep on the way home, and even though I KNOW he was tired, we stayed up and worked on his English after the boys went to bed.

Vladik's personality just exploded yesterday. I don't know if it was because Rick was with us, or if it was just timing; but it was a joy to see!

Our final Tuesday...

Yesterday, Vladik had his final dentist appointment.
It went REALLY, REALLY well.
The nerve to the tooth in question was completely dead, so no shots were needed. There was no pain and no discomfort for Vladik - which after our last visit, I was really grateful for. He listened to Lecrae the whole time and I was able to talk to Dr. Garrison and the staff about New Horizons and our hosting experience.
They had a lot of questions, and  I was doubly glad Vladik had his earphones in. I always feel funny talking about him and his situation in front of him.

So--- 2 hours, a root canal, and a new tooth later.... he was smiling BIG! There have been a lot of smiles this week.

I'm SO grateful for Dr. Garrison and his staff... they took such good care of us!

My parents sent us a tetherball set AGES ago.
Rick, bless his heart... who has WAY to much to do... finally got it set up this afternoon.

I CLEARLY remember playing tetherball in the 3rd grade. That and playing "Frogger" with the massive row of swings on the playground were my favorite things to to at recess. Oh-- and trading scratch-n-sniff stickers. :-)   I think I remember one that was supposed to smell like tires. EWWW.

We went swimming this afternoon as well. For as often as it seems we go swimming, you'd think they'd all be waterlogged, but that doesn't seem to be the case. :-)