A Big No-No

This is our 3rd go-round with hosting.

It's interesting...
 in all my other blog posts, I don't think I ever mentioned the fact that we're not allowed to talk about adoption (the "A" word.)  There are several other blogging host families who have posted about it; and though it's never been an issue with either of our other hostings, I suppose I should make NHFC's policy on the matter very clear.

We're not allowed to talk about "A" directly to D & D.
We're not allowed to talk about it around D & D.
If you meet up with us at the spray park... or the zoo... or bump into us at WalMart-- you're not allowed to ask about it in front of them. (Don't even try it in pig latin, or Spanish, or French or Morse Code.)
No one is allowed to ask what kind of family they would like, or if they like it in America and would they like to stay?
The "A word" is not to be mentioned AT ALL if D & D are within a 700 yard radius.
There are to be no comments about adopting a dog or a cat from the animal shelter.

Seem like overkill?

Not really, and I'll tell you why.

A few of the nearly 200 kids that are being hosted speak English well. Some speak a little English. Most speak almost none.
That being said, there are a few words they ALL know:

McDonalds
Coca-Cola
Justin Bieber
Adoption

There are a lot of things that have to go very, very right in order for an international adoption to go forward. A large number of those things are completely out of our control.

Can you imagine the disappointment and rejection a child might feel if, through a misunderstanding or innocent question, they were inadvertently led to believe their host family wanted to adopt them... when in fact that host family had no intention of doing so?
Or, say the family did want to adopt, but maybe they find out later they don't qualify... or the child isn't legally available for adoption... or there's a family tragedy... or a divorce... or a job loss... or.....

SO MANY things can happen that could derail/postpone/modify/cancel adoption plans.

YES! We we want these children to find their forever families.
But there's a reason (several reasons, actually) why we can't talk to them about adoption.

And should we decide to pursue adoption, there are steps that will be taken to get the ball rolling.
AFTER D & D fly home.

Are we going to adopt? I don't know. It's heavier on my heart than it is Rick's.
We'll see.

But whether we do or don't... if you see us around town with a couple of extra kids in tow... don't surreptitiously waggle your eyebrows in an attempt to ask me about adoption.

I'll ignore it.
And D & D will think you have some sort of spastic twitch.

BUSY BUSY BUSY

It's been ENTIRELY too long since my last post. I'm actually a bit embarrassed about it.

In my defense, however, there's been a lot going on.
And most of what's been going on wouldn't be of any interest to you.

There- how's that for rationalization. :-)

Truthfully though, there's been a lot going on in the New Horizons side of my life.

Hosting sign-ups have ended, families have been going to training and rooms and homes are being prepared.
We've had a few kids whose host families backed out (for a number of reasons) and we've had to scramble to find them new host families.
We've had a few families who "lost" their host kids- through no fault of their own- because paperwork on the UKR or LAT end of things fell through.
We've had to call at least one family and tell them they couldn't host because of comments that were made on a blog.
There are several families who are still raising funds to pay their hosting fees.
We still need host families for chaperones in several areas of the US.
I've led or helped with 3 host parent trainings in the last 2 weeks. One of which was in Texas.
I'm also the airport coordinator for the Akron/Canton airport where our kids (as well as a few others) will be arriving.

And speaking of our kids... I don't have much ready for them. I mean I have a few clothes, and their dental and eye exams scheduled... but thats about it. OH-- I do have their welcome signs made. (But only because I wanted to have them finished to show at training.)

(I'd post photos of my welcome signs, but I can't figure out how to get them here. Our pc melted a couple of weeks ago and we took the plunge and got a mac. I can see the pics on iPhoto, but I can't get them here on the blog...??!!)

Oddly enough, I'm not really stressed about it-- the lack of preparation, I mean. I AM a little stressed about my photos not showing up! :-)

Sure, there's quite a bit I'd like to get done before D&D arrive... but they're not going to care if I cleaned up the laundry room or scrubbed the microwave. When they arrive, they're going to want a shower and a bed.

As a matter of fact, their flight gets in so late, I may even let them skip a shower and just go straight to bed. Cleaning up and a tour of the house can wait until the next morning.

We don't have a whole lot of activities "officially" planned. We're meeting up with a few other host families at the Cleveland Zoo mid-month... and of course there's Balloon-fest, and fireworks, and maybe a trip to the water park at Coshocton. I haven't decided for sure- but I think the day we host the chaperone, we'll head over by (Belleville? Bellevue? I always get those two confused) and tour the caverns. You know stalactites, stalagmites, and all that stuff.  OR, we may go to Amish country to the Rolling Acres Animal Park in Berlin... Millersburg... Walnut Creek?? I don't remember where it is down there.

I think that their church experience will be interesting for me to observe. We're attending a different church now than what we did when we hosted Vladik and Mareks. It's a much larger church with a much different feel. ***
Vladik was bored to tears at our old church and went only because he had to.
I'm hoping- that even with the language barrier- D&D don't feel the same.
Diana is old enough to go to youth, but we'll gauge her comfort level and see what she wants to do. I may go to youth with her. It's a large, active youth group and I'm hoping she has the personality that will allow her to just jump right in.
Daniels and Joe will probably stick together even though Daniels is a couple of years older.

So, I guess that's my update. Not terribly entertaining or informative, but an update nonetheless.

D&D arrive in less that a week.

I suppose I should at LEAST get sheets on their beds. :-)

***For those who know us, the story and timeline of our switching churches is a LONG one. Suffice it to say, it was not a decision Rick came to easily or quickly. I'm proud of him for making a difficult choice despite knowing there would be MANY who wouldn't understand.

End of the line...

Hosting sign-ups for Summer 2012 are over.

I have mixed feelings about this.

On one hand, Rick can stop joking about having my cell phone surgically attached to my ear.
Yes, I've been on the phone A LOT the last few months-- ESPECIALLY this last 6 weeks.
In fact,  I alone used up all the minutes on our family plan. And not only did I use them all up.... I went OVER our allotted minutes. Yeah... the checkbook isn't going to be happy about that one.

So, sure, I'm glad this part of "hosting" is over and done with.

But on the other hand, I see the faces of the children that weren't hosted... that weren't chosen.
Most of them I met.... many of them I played UNO with....
and it just makes me sad.
I am so burdened for them.

I had a neat thing happen last night though. It would take way too long to explain in detail; but at the last minute we got 2 more hosted. A brother/sister duo from my favorite orphanage in UKR. YAY!
And when I say last minute... I really mean LAST MINUTE. The deadline for hosting was 10pm last night. The host family called at 9:51.... gave me a "yes" and I texted our lead hosting coordinator at 9:59 with their decision.
There are several more tangents to this story, ones I'm not going to cover. But with the way it all came together... all the people involved... the timing... the specifics... the fact that none of the parties involved were even supposed to talk to me (they're not in my "region")... no human could have orchestrated this.

But that leads me back to why I'm NOT ready for this part of hosting to be over. I have witnessed so many acts of God... miracles... in this hosting process.

Families who are called to host but ABSOLUTELY cannot afford it... step out on faith and BAM-- they get the money when they need it. (And in some cases, even more than they need!) YES-- we serve a God who does stuff like that!

Families where the mom wanted to host, but the dad was TOTALLY against it. And then-- out of the blue-- the dad would have a change of heart and be completely on board.

Families with housing problems... job instability... family issues... serious scheduling conflicts... ALL RESOLVED in order that they could host.

Families who were already hosting, but felt led to offer a SUBSTANTIAL scholarship so another family could host.

A confirmed host family where the mom had a serious and sudden life threatening condition come to light. A condition in which only 2% of the people affected survive an attack. She was found... not breathing... no pulse on the floor of her home earlier this week. A woman in her early 30's with a husband and 2 young children.
People-- she is alive and well and prepping for surgery to have a defibrillator placed in her chest.
She is expected to go HOME today or tomorrow, with no apparent lasting side effects from the lack of oxygen to her brain. PRAISE GOD!

God has a plan.
He has a plan for these host families.
He has a plan for the children who were hosted.
He has a plan for the children who were not hosted.

All we have to do is wait... watch to see where He is working and moving... and then join Him there.

Circumstances...

I had an opportunity, today, to talk about New Horizons at one of the largest churches in town.
I had to use a microphone and everything.

Lucky for me, I don't mind getting up in front of people to talk.
Yeah-- talking isn't usually a problem for me.
Any anyone who knows my parents know who I get THAT particular trait from.
(For those who don't know my parents... I get it from my dad.)

I had a limited amount of time... less than what I'd planned on. But still grateful for the opportunity to speak about New Horizons.  I had so much to say, however, that I'm pretty sure I was talking WAY too fast-- and I *still* didn't get everything in. :-)

I never know how my "talks" go.
A couple were crying... did I bore them to tears?  Did I explain everything as to make it understandable? Did I fully communicate the desperate situation these kids are in? Did the pictures I chose for my Power Point accurately portray both the good and the bad of what I saw on the interview trip?  Did I plant any seeds? Did I pique anyone's interest?

I don't know. I hope so.
But it's God's job to open the minds and hearts of those who follow Him.
In this case... I'm just the messenger.

There are many families on the NHFC Families facebook page who are struggling with raising funds for their hosting fees.
There are many families who are not getting the support of friends, family or church family. I don't understand that. I mean I guess initially it's natural to have some concerns or questions... to wonder about finances or safety. But really... words like irresponsible... crazy... insanity... ridiculous... crusader... or accusing a mom of being negligent toward her own kids. People.. FELLOW BELIEVERS can be so hurtful!

In the face of adversity, there are a few families who are reconsidering their decision to host.
Not because they feel any less strongly about it, but because they're looking at their circumstances from an earthly perspective.
They hear the naysayers telling them they're nuts to be doing this.
They look at the financial burden it's putting on their family.
They consider the logistics of sleeping arrangements and transportation.
The doubts start to creep in... maybe this *will* somehow emotionally scar their own children.
They feel the lack of support and sometimes outright animosity.... and they wonder.

I don't want to come off as "preachy" here. That's SO not my intent.
We haven't had outright disapproval from anyone with either of our hostings.
We've been blessed to have not had to struggle with fundraising for our host fees.

Our circumstances have never been so bleak as to reconsider what we KNEW to be God's plan for us.
At least, not with hosting.
But anyone who has felt God's call to do something different... or to go against the grain... or to participate in something others would see as outrageous or impractical.... well, we've all felt the sting of hurtful words.
I'd guess we've all- at one time or another wondered if we *really* heard right.
Questioned "Were we REALLY called to do this?"

My prayer for these families who are so struggling is that they find peace of mind where there is none, financial blessings where there have been far too few, love and support from unexpected places, and the strength to continue in their convictions regardless of how their situation appears.

If, dear reader, you are in a position to help any of these struggling families, please consider a small (or large) donation to New Horizons for Children in their behalf.

Be a light where they have seen so little. Be an encouragement where they've had none.

You can easily donate through PayPal directly from our website www.NewHorizonsforChildren.org. Any donations are tax deductible.

Blessings to you. 

Round 3

So.
A lot going on.

:-)

First, let me introduce you to our host children for this summer... Daniels and Diana from Latvia. Though I visited their "region" while on the New Horizons interview trip, I did not visit their orphanage. Daniels is 11 and wants to learn to ride a bike. Diana is 13 and wants to learn how to cook.  I'm pretty sure we can take care of both while they're here. :-)

We hadn't thought to host this summer. My volunteer position with New Horizons has kept me VERY busy. A lot of phone calls, a lot of emails, a lot of time. Don't get me wrong- I'm LOVING it!  I talk to potential host families- explaining the program and talking about the kids and their situations, answering questions, giving advice and sharing about our own hosting experiences. I have found that my going on the interview trip has given me invaluable insight- and I can now answer questions and give explanations with firsthand knowledge. I can only imagine that the more often I go back (hint, hint, Rick :-) ) the greater understanding I'll have.
We've never really been *seriously* adoption minded (hereinafter referred to as The "A" word.) Well, that's not entirely true. Rick has never really been *seriously* "A" minded.
And that's ok. I'm told that it often takes men a little longer to come around to the idea. Women, being the emotional creatures that we are, are usually the 1st ones on board. But Rick made some comments the other night that made me think he might be a little more open to the idea that what he'd been previously.
That being said-- don't you all go emailing him and asking when we're starting our home study or anything. He's not driving the "A" train quite yet. He's just stepping up a little closer to the ticket booth to look at the schedule.

While on the interview trip, I met several kids who really stuck with me. Ones who impressed me with either their sense of humor... or their attitude... or their enthusiasm. Rita... Igor... Nastya... Kolya... Marian... Nazar... Albert... Sasha... Luba... Valentyn.  I met and interacted with well over 100 kids, but these were different. These were special. I'm so pleased becasue as of now, all but one have been chosen by a family for this summer's hosting.  Geographically, none of them will be anywhere near me-- which is fine as we'll be busy with our own host kids.

The one that is left-- the one who hasn't been chosen--- Valentyn. I can't say enough wonderful things about this boy. Polite, self assured, well spoken, confident, eager to try out his English, well liked by his peers. He wants to go into show biz when he grows up-- and he has the personality to do it!  He currently has a $650 scholarship to put toward his hosting fees.
Luckily, we have another week before the UKR deadline. Another week for the Lord to find Valentyn a host family. *I* certainly can't do it... but I'll be thrilled to talk to anyone who would like more info!

The deadline for LAT is today. There are A LOT of kids left. A LOT of kids who need a family to choose them. Some of the waiting have been hosted before, some are new to our program. Either way, they're waiting... and so deserving of this opportunity.
I'm sick to my stomach at the thought of how many are left. How many there are who will be left behind.

Mareks, who we hosted over winter, was originally on the New Horizons photo listing. We weren't planning on rehosting him-- I was afraid he'd be COMPLETELY bored here over the summer.  If it weren't for my terribly entertaining trips to the ER and my "meet and greet" with the parking lot in Texas, complete with ambulance and fire truck (see previous blog posts), he probably would have been bored over Christmas.
So I prayed for a host family for him... one with kids nearer his own age... a family who has a church with a large, active youth group... a family that wasn't quite as rural as we are... a family who would love him as much as we do.
And my prayers were answered in a mighty way!
A *perfect* family stepped forward to host Mareks! They even had a son who liked the same music- dubstep. (Which is probably more popular than I think, I'm just too old and out of it to keep up with that kind of stuff.)
OH-I was SO EXCITED!!! Mareks and I facebook, and I was having a REALLY hard time not telling him!

Then I received an email from our in country facilitator saying she had spoken to Mareks and he'd decided to not participate in the hosting program this go 'round. He'd been presented with an opportunity to take some photography classes over the summer and he wanted to take advantage of that.

I'm thrilled about the classes! He's really into photography, and maybe this will lead to a future job opportunity. But I'm disappointed he won't be returning to The U.S.... and also sad for his new host family who had already gotten kind of attached to him. Thankfully, the family still felt led to host and they chose another young man who I think will thrive in their family.

I still have quite a bit to do in preparation for our own host kids. Appointments to be made, letters to write, things to be purchased, outings to plan, etc.
I remember how nervous I was-- terrified, really-- when getting ready to host Vladik.
That was just a year ago.
Now I have 2 hostings under my belt, as well as a trip to Ukraine and Latvia, plus helping to coordinate the host families here in the midwest.
I'm hoping to take part in the new host parent training in Cleveland this June, where I'll finally get to meet several of the families I've spoken with and emailed.

Joe and Kyle want to take Daniels and Diana to Texas to visit Grandmother and Papa and to meet the cousins on the other side of the family.
Yeah, I don't think that's going to happen. Maybe we can go to the zoo instead?

Where ya been?

I know I'm painfully overdue for an update.
It's embarrassing, really.

I'll post QUICKLY here, and then hopefully elaborate in another post later this week.

I've been CRAZY BUSY with New Horizons. YAY!!
So busy, in fact, that I walked through the door other night and Joe turned to Rick and asked, "Dad, who is that woman?" BOO!!

We weren't going to re-host Mareks this summer (for a number of reasons), but a family in Virginia stepped up and wanted to. YAY!!

Mareks declined, as he has an opportunity to take some photography classes. (He REALLY likes photography.) BOO!! for him not coming, but YAY!! for the classes.

My children talked us into hosting this summer after all. So brother and sister Daniels and Diana will be here late June-early August. YAY!!

ALL of my favorite kids from my interview trip are being hosted by families across the US. YAY!!

OK. Those are the New Horizons highlights.
Honestly, that's not ALL that's going on around here, but some days it seems like it.

For those who knew me in a former life- here are a few "family" updates...

Joe broke a finger 3 weeks ago while playing soccer. It's healing nicely, but he hasn't been able to play goalie since (Dr.s orders). So he's REALLY hoping that the follow up visit goes well and that the goalie ban will be lifted. He likes playing goalie because then he doesn't have to run. :-)

We had snow on Saturday (Made for miserable soccer games) BOO!! But it's in the 80's today. YAY!!
The wheat looks good and Rick has been able to get about half of the corn planted. YAY!!

I got my most of my garden planted yesterday, and I'd like to get the rest (watermelon, cantaloupe, pumpkins, gourds, sunflowers and potatoes) in today.  YAY!!

School is out in less than a month. BOO? YAY?? BOTH??

Esther....

Queen Esther was an orphan.

Did you know that?

Yes, the same Esther who defied the king's orders by seeking an audience with him- though it could have meant her death. The same Esther who, by her actions, saved the Jewish people from annihilation.

She was an orphan.

Esther 2:7 (NLT)

This man had a very beautiful and lovely young cousin, Hadassah, who was also called Esther. When her father and mother died, Mordecai adopted her into his family and raised her as his own daughter.

I wonder what would have happened if Esther, after her own parents died, had been placed in an orphanage?

I don't think they had such things at the time, but stay with me....

Different translations say that Esther was beautiful and lovely, she had a nice figure, she was beautiful in body and face, she was beautiful and fair. You get the idea.
I don't know what the current slang for it would be, but she was like..... a supermodel.

Do you know what happens to girls- gorgeous or not- in Eastern European orphanages?

The International Organization for Migration and the NGO 'La Strada' reports that:

• 40 per cent of children trafficked to CIS, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Croatia, Macedonia, Serbia-Montenegro, Kosovo and Albania come from abusive, single-parent families or have been in boarding institutions.
• More than a half are orphans, or have lost the contact with their parents.

According to the U.S. State Dept 'Trafficking in Persons' Report (June 2004):

• Ukraine is both a source and transit country for women and girls trafficked to Europe and the Middle East for the purpose of sexual exploitation, and for men trafficked to Europe and North America for forced labor.
• Ukraine has seen an increase in the trafficking of children, especially orphans, during the last year.

Orphans are easy prey for slave and sex traffickers.
According to Amnesty International, young women and girls, often vulnerable because of economic deprivation, or for already having been physically abused, are easy targets. They dream of a better life, which traffickers promise when they offer them 'work' in the west. Instead of getting a proper job, the girls find themselves trapped, enslaved and forced into the sex industry.

To escape their devastating life, suicide is unfortunately the only option some of these children feel is available to them.

I read somewhere that female prostitutes in Eastern Europe are generally between the ages of 11-16.

11?

11 years old?! SERIOUSLY?!  Not that 16 is any better, but 11?!!

But how can hosting help?

They're only here for 5 weeks, right?

You can tell them- and show them that they are loved.

You can tell them- and show them that they have worth... that they're special.

You can tell them- and show them that Jesus loves them. That they're so important- he DIED for them.

You can tell them- and show them that they have a father in heaven who will NEVER leave them, NEVER abandon them, NEVER write them off.

You can tell them- and show them that they're wanted.

You can hug them and show an interest in their abilities and thoughts and opinions.

You can show them they have potential.

You can show them there IS another way.

Is hosting going to single-handedly resolve the orphan crisis in Eastern Europe.
Absolutely not.

Will hosting "one of the least of these" guarantee they won't turn to prostitution in the future?

Of course not.

But what if their experience during their 5 weeks in the US made them feel better about themselves and gave them a little self worth?
What if the thought of a "mom" and a "dad" in America caused them to think twice about the choices they make?
What if their "summer family" changed their idea of what is acceptable and what isn't?

Statistically speaking 50-60% of the girls on the New Horizons photo listing will spend time as a prostitute, either by force, or as a last resort.

The question is- what are YOU going to do about it?

www.NewHorizonsForChildren.org

*Recommended reading on the subject of human trafficking: Priceless, by Tom Davis.